Write On Time
Write On Time
During and post pandemic or as I like to call it, the roaring 20s, social media became way more developed and competitive and if you were a little fish in a big sea, you probably got intimidated and felt like there was no room for you.
While these last three years may have lit a fire under a lot of people's asses to get their dreams going and start doing everything they’ve ever wanted to do, it sat a lot of people down as well and a lot of us are just starting to pick up the pieces, from losing jobs they thought they’d still have, losing people and overall just their way of life before three years ago.
For me it went a little something like this. So, boom, two years ago I was nervous about what was nothing more than an announcement, but an announcement nonetheless because I don't like to downplay myself. My plan was to reveal my new LLC purchase and debut my idea of 126 Publishing on my 26th birthday. Did I mention I had crazy anxiety behind this? Looking back at it, it was nothing compared to any other time I had to present something, but I had never been vocal about wanting to write and here I was getting ready to announce that I was going to be writing all of these things on my very own platform. So, after outing myself via social media I dedicate myself to making sure I kept up a following for 126. My heart was in it, but it wasn’t. When it came to writing something that I would actually want people to read I was frozen. So, I continued to submerge myself into the world of social media, posting quotes, tips and things that I wasn't really using myself. I would read work from other bloggers and feel like what I had to say wasn't important enough. The constant worry of not “doing enough” made me want to do nothing at all and I let myself slowly fade into the background, thinking of how i would come back
Self-doubt caused me to not trust myself. I didn’t trust myself to stay consistent and I was just all around afraid of people reading what I was thinking. I’ve always had this beef with people only being able to relate to you when you’re going through hard times, I hated the idea that people could only connect with you because you went through or were going through similar struggles and in those moments of trying to create something with no direction I was always struggling. I felt like If I wasn't living an inspirational life the I couldn't write anything inspirational. Now I see that every setback I was having was me living my inspirational life. What I didn’t realize though is that my mistakes would be the guideline to someone else’s mishaps, I was holding out on my struggle not realizing that no matter what I wrote and what space I was coming from somebody was going to feel it. It takes real reflection to realize you're sitting on the gifts God gave you and yes, I was being stubborn. I simply did not want to be having a hard time under the radar of others. It took me to read other people’s setbacks to understand that those stories were important too, that they’re actually the foundation of all the good that is to come. People that really support you won’t be looking for an “Aha!” In your crisis moments. While there may be some people ecstatic because they feel like you didn’t keep your word, there are plenty that are just waiting to learn what it is you have to say.
Unpopular opinion: Only sharing the good in your life isn’t “faking your life”, but there's nothing wrong with sharing the challenging stuff either. There’s a little misconception that I’ve noticed where people feel like when you never mention your problems, you’re somehow putting on a facade, when in all actuality, your business is just that, your business. Either way the cookie crumbles, share what you want because it frees you, not because you’re worried about people thinking you’re inauthentic.
Don't get me wrong….
It's still important for me to know that even when sharing transparencies, it is an absolute must that I allow myself to feel and go through my trial and error and let it teach me before I go and try to make a teaching moment for somebody else. I read something that said something along the lines of, we go through things and instead of sitting with those things and fully processing them for ourselves that we go and instantly try to create a lesson for someone else, not processing trauma because you’re in a rush to create content but what exactly did you learn. One day I would love to be able to say I inspired many rather they related to something good or bad but creating an outlet for myself is also important. Your people will find you, live your purpose because it fulfills you.
The journey of picking up the piece’s life has thrown at me isn’t easy. I’m not nearly the same person I was when I made that announcement. It feels great to be writing but it also feels great to share. This is my first time sharing my thoughts and it’s what I always wanted. Instead of feeling like I missed out. It's too late or thinking about how I could’ve been doing this, I’m basking in the right now. I'll always be on time creatively because I'm not on anybody else's time but mine.
